Enjoy this?

This week I sent my last child of five to full day kindergarten!  On that first day of school I saw a Mom waiting on a street corner with a double bike trailer.  Three more kids on bikes came speeding down the hill to join her.  As I passed her crew in my Suburban I looked in my rear view mirror and thought, “That used to be me. I was that mom not so long ago. I was pulling that trailer, keeping track of five kiddos and trying to make it to school on time.”  Seeing them in the mirror made me realize that another chapter in my mothering journey was behind me and I felt grateful and sad all at the same time. 

At the store or at church, I used to have older mothers say, “Enjoy this—it goes by way too fast.”  My kids would be climbing, fighting, interrupting, crying etc. and I would want to sob and protest, “Enjoy this?? Do you see us?”  So often I felt exhausted and stretched and there was nothing comforting about those words of “wisdom”.

This morning as I drove home after elementary school drop off, I saw a father alone with a Suburban full of decorations.  His daughter was recently married and I’m sure he was off to do reception set-up.  I thought, “That will be me. In the near future, one of our children will get married and that will likely be me.”  And then the words from all of the older mothers came back to me, “Enjoy this—it goes by way too fast.”  Their words of wisdom are starting to make a little sense. 

Each phase of motherhood can feel hard and good all at the same time.  I think it’s easier to focus on the hard and negative sometimes, it’s just what our brains do.  But remember you can experience both positive and negative feelings.  It’s ok if you don’t love this chapter of motherhood right now.  You can remind yourself that nothing stays the same forever, including your perspective.  You can both dislike and enjoy things.  My coach once said, “Just breathe.  I think you just need to pause and take in a few good deep breaths.  Then look around and acknowledge the hard by also see the good!” 

As you look in the rear view mirror at your past, you can feel grateful and sad but you can also embrace the road today and the journey ahead.  The hard and the good— embrace it all.