I’m Not a Cookie Mom
Confession. I’m not a cookie mom. In other words, I’m not a “fun” mom. One time my neighbor brought over some cookies she’d made with her kids. They were delicious and I asked for the recipe but then admitted that I wasn’t a cookie mom. She laughed in disbelief. I explained that I like the idea of making cookies with my kids but that’s as far as it ever went. That recipe was given to me about 10 years ago and I still haven’t made a batch of those yummy cookies!
Parties, crafts, baking, projects, mess, high energy, and lots of spontaneity! Honestly, none of those things come naturally to me. I like plans, cleanliness and predictability. Maybe I’m wired that way or it’s just something I prefer but I started to believe that this was a very negative thing for our kids. I often thought, “I should be different. I should do all of the things a fun mom would do—like making cookies!” But is that true?
One day I realized that I can’t be “all the things” for my kids. It’s totally unrealistic to believe that I should be the source and provider of all their good feelings and experiences. Some moms wear the FUN hat really well in their mothering journey and that’s great. It comes naturally to them and they love it. I am genuinely grateful that my kids get to experience that more with other moms. I’m also delighted when they bring over cookies!
What I bring to my mothering journey may look different and that’s ok. Here are a few things I discovered about myself: I love nutrition, cooking (not baking), organization, reading and thoughtful conversations. These things are valuable in a different way and are not inferior in any way. Repeat that phrase whenever you feel the need to compare yourself with another mom.
Pause and ask yourself, “What kind of mom am I? What is authentic to me?” Consider what you enjoy most and share it with your kids. Watch out for those “shoulds”. If you hear yourself saying, “I should…” then your actions may come off as forced. You’re kids (even the teenagers) need and want you—so be you!
Our kids will find fun. There’s definitely not a shortage! There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not a “fun” mom. You are A LOT of other things. Don’t discredit the good that you do every single day by being you.
I asked my daughter the other day while we were camping as a family, “Do you wish I was more fun? Should I have planned crafts, activities and other things while we were camping?” She laughed and said, “No way! This isn't a girls camp!” I laughed in return and knew (that for me) I couldn’t agree more!