Just can’t say no!

As women we often throw around phrases like these…

“I’m stretched too thin.”

“I’m spinning too many plates.”

“I’m juggling too many things.” 

“I’ve bit off more than I can chew.” 

Why do we take on more and more things? Even to the point that it feels like everything may come crashing down! I think there are a lot of reasons—but today I’d like to focus on one. We can’t say no because we are worried about what others will think of us. We don’t want to disappoint! Take a moment to recall a situation when you wanted to say no but didn’t because of this reason. Here are a few questions to consider…

What was your “thought bubble” when you said yes but wanted to say no? How did you feel? What did you “give up” by saying yes? If you had said no, then what? What do you imagine their “thought bubble” could have said? Why would it be so bad if they believed those things about you? Would those judgments be true and would you believe them?

It’s important to realize that when you said yes to them, you were saying no to you. This isn’t always bad. Sometimes you may lay aside your own desires for something good but take time to check your motives. A forced yes for them can mean disappointment and resentment for you. Also, if you keep saying yes you create more and more imbalance. 

A counselor once shared with me a cheesy but helpful phrase, “I care very much for myself, but I also care very much for you.” Saying no to others doesn’t mean you don’t care, it just means you are intentionally considering your own thoughts, feelings and capacity. That’s all. So try it out and see what happens. Let me know how it goes! I’d love to hear about your experiences.  stephanie@theclaritylife.com