Not As Serious
You’ve just written down a long to-list for the day when you receive a notification from Facebook. You start to read a very sad post. Heaviness is building up inside, so you take a deep breath and decide to move on with the day. That’s when your cell phone rings. Your son needs to be picked up from school because he’s not feeling well. You scribble down, “ Doctor appointment?” at the top of your list then grab your toddler, keys, and think, “well, I guess buying bread and milk will happen tonight after the kids are in bed—life is so hard!” Does any of this sound familiar?
Eckhart Tolle is one of my favorite teachers. I highly recommend his work if you want to learn more about being present and at peace with life. He shared the following thought in one of his books, “Life is not as serious as the mind makes it out to be.” When I feel heavy and stressed, I remember this beautiful and comforting thought. On one occasion during a conversation with Oprah, Eckhart took questions from callers. A man asked, “I know that it’s good to be present and aware, but don’t we have to worry about paying bills and things like that?” Eckhart Tolle responded with, “Pay bills yes, but to worry about paying bills is optional.” This was very powerful and eye-opening for me. I can remember sitting on my bed folding laundry when I heard him say this. It was definitely an aha moment!
One of the first steps that I teach my clients is to separate facts from thoughts. You have circumstances in your life. These are the things that are happening all the time: how your children behave, what they say, the things on your to-do list, etc. You then have thoughts about those circumstances. Your thoughts are optional. They are perspective or opinion. If you think that life is so hard, you may feel overwhelmed or worried and that impacts how you go about living your day and life. Separating facts from thoughts allows you to observe and learn what you are currently thinking. It doesn’t normally happen over night—changing your mind. It’s a process. But the more you practice separating facts from the thoughts, the better you become at consciously choosing what you want to think in the future.
There is a to-do list, a Facebook post, a sick child, a fridge without milk, a cupboard without bread, and you are a mom. What do you think about it all? There are facts and then there are your thoughts about those facts. Consider adopting this beautiful belief by Eckhart, “Life is not as serious as the mind makes it out to be.”